It's 5:00 in the morning. I wake up to my cat trying to knock over a glass left on my nightstand. I am awake. My thoughts cloud my tired mind. My worries about the day begin, repeating over and over. I pick up my prayer guide book, and search for the words to express my doubt and worry. I flip to a prayer reading and devotion about God's promises and am immediately convicted by the Holy Spirit.
Over the last day and a half or so, I have been receiving subtle and not so subtle messages from God regarding His love and promises, and my doubt. At church on Sunday, Pastor Marti was speaking on Prayer, how to pray, and essentially God's love and promises to us. The reading was from Luke, it's exact location escapes me (I'll have to refer back), but the message was that if we, as human beings and sinful in nature, love and care for our children, then surely God who is perfect will take care of us, His children and keep His promises. I am also reading a book by Francis Chan entitled "Crazy Love." Last night I was reading about the certainty of God's love.
Finally, God's message, loud and clear, came across. The devotion spoke of our dependence on God. This was paralled by our need for the sun. As Earth as a planet, and humans individuallu depend on the sun for life and growth, so do we depend on God to sustain us. This triggered the conviction by the Holy Spirit regarding my doubt. I believe that the sun will rise and set each day, and know that it's light and warmth will sustain my life and the life of everything on earth. However, I am not so certain about the fact that God will be with me each moment of my day, available to me, guiding and sustaining me with his ever-present love.
Lord, you are the God of the Universe, all that is and will be created. You knew me before I was formed or thought of. You are available to me always for prayer, comfort, and guidance. You give me life and promise that if I believe in you I will have eternal life and that all things will work out if I only believe in Your promises. Fogive me for my doubt Lord, that I will lean not on my own understanding, but trust in the promises of You and your presence in my life. Amen
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Thanks for this, sweetie! Doubt is a BIG part of being human, unfortunately, but when we give it to God and keep doing our best to rely on HIM and not on our doubts, that's when it's the best : )
ReplyDeleteI am glad to have read this post this morning, as opposed to any other time....it meant just a little more to me this a.m. : )
You are such a blessing.....thank YOU and I thank GOD, too <3