Monday, July 26, 2010
Starting Over
My reading at 5:00 am this morning also led me to another realization. The need to redefine the purpose and use of this Blog. I orginally wanted to use it as a way for personal reflection, to write my prayers for God and to look back and see how he has answered me so that I may grow in my walk. It was also intended to explore and deepen my faith through these prayers and my own understanding of the scripture I read. I wanted also to be able to share these reflections with friends, family, and strangers who might feel the same and struggle with the same things I do and even give me feedback for growth while sharing their own stories. However, it seems that this has become a place of writing my own devotions for the reader to follow. Not a bad purpose, but not the one God was leading me to. So, here I go, anew and starting fresh. I have deleted the posts that I feel haven't been true to my original calling and am redirecting. Again, please share your thoughts and stories with me. Thanks for being a part of my life anew in God.
God's Promises v. My Doubt
It's 5:00 in the morning. I wake up to my cat trying to knock over a glass left on my nightstand. I am awake. My thoughts cloud my tired mind. My worries about the day begin, repeating over and over. I pick up my prayer guide book, and search for the words to express my doubt and worry. I flip to a prayer reading and devotion about God's promises and am immediately convicted by the Holy Spirit.
Over the last day and a half or so, I have been receiving subtle and not so subtle messages from God regarding His love and promises, and my doubt. At church on Sunday, Pastor Marti was speaking on Prayer, how to pray, and essentially God's love and promises to us. The reading was from Luke, it's exact location escapes me (I'll have to refer back), but the message was that if we, as human beings and sinful in nature, love and care for our children, then surely God who is perfect will take care of us, His children and keep His promises. I am also reading a book by Francis Chan entitled "Crazy Love." Last night I was reading about the certainty of God's love.
Finally, God's message, loud and clear, came across. The devotion spoke of our dependence on God. This was paralled by our need for the sun. As Earth as a planet, and humans individuallu depend on the sun for life and growth, so do we depend on God to sustain us. This triggered the conviction by the Holy Spirit regarding my doubt. I believe that the sun will rise and set each day, and know that it's light and warmth will sustain my life and the life of everything on earth. However, I am not so certain about the fact that God will be with me each moment of my day, available to me, guiding and sustaining me with his ever-present love.
Lord, you are the God of the Universe, all that is and will be created. You knew me before I was formed or thought of. You are available to me always for prayer, comfort, and guidance. You give me life and promise that if I believe in you I will have eternal life and that all things will work out if I only believe in Your promises. Fogive me for my doubt Lord, that I will lean not on my own understanding, but trust in the promises of You and your presence in my life. Amen
Over the last day and a half or so, I have been receiving subtle and not so subtle messages from God regarding His love and promises, and my doubt. At church on Sunday, Pastor Marti was speaking on Prayer, how to pray, and essentially God's love and promises to us. The reading was from Luke, it's exact location escapes me (I'll have to refer back), but the message was that if we, as human beings and sinful in nature, love and care for our children, then surely God who is perfect will take care of us, His children and keep His promises. I am also reading a book by Francis Chan entitled "Crazy Love." Last night I was reading about the certainty of God's love.
Finally, God's message, loud and clear, came across. The devotion spoke of our dependence on God. This was paralled by our need for the sun. As Earth as a planet, and humans individuallu depend on the sun for life and growth, so do we depend on God to sustain us. This triggered the conviction by the Holy Spirit regarding my doubt. I believe that the sun will rise and set each day, and know that it's light and warmth will sustain my life and the life of everything on earth. However, I am not so certain about the fact that God will be with me each moment of my day, available to me, guiding and sustaining me with his ever-present love.
Lord, you are the God of the Universe, all that is and will be created. You knew me before I was formed or thought of. You are available to me always for prayer, comfort, and guidance. You give me life and promise that if I believe in you I will have eternal life and that all things will work out if I only believe in Your promises. Fogive me for my doubt Lord, that I will lean not on my own understanding, but trust in the promises of You and your presence in my life. Amen
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Press On
I have recently been reading the book "Invictus" by John Carlin, about the leadership of Nelson Mandela and the culmination of his political and personal goals through the rugby World Cup.
Mandela, over his years in prison, learned that there were many distractions on the road to the end of apartheid and peace in South Africa. The violence perpetuated by the white Afrikanners was a large distraction, especially to the black population who wished so desperately to be equal. They saw the pain,struggle, imprisonment, and even death that their brothers and sisters suffered and so they too struck out in anger and retribution, not looking at the distant goal -- acheiving political freedom and power. This caused me to examine the distractions in my own life -- the pain, frusteration, of daily life, looking for work, caring for loved ones. These serve to distract me from the goal of bringing heaven on earth through doing the will of God, and of course the ultimate goal of going to our eternal home to be with our Father. This sounds a lot like Paul, who tells us in Phillipians, to "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (3:14) I am really thankful God brought this message to me. Reminding me that God is with me, fighting on my behalf, and encouraging me to focus on the end goal.
Mandela, over his years in prison, learned that there were many distractions on the road to the end of apartheid and peace in South Africa. The violence perpetuated by the white Afrikanners was a large distraction, especially to the black population who wished so desperately to be equal. They saw the pain,struggle, imprisonment, and even death that their brothers and sisters suffered and so they too struck out in anger and retribution, not looking at the distant goal -- acheiving political freedom and power. This caused me to examine the distractions in my own life -- the pain, frusteration, of daily life, looking for work, caring for loved ones. These serve to distract me from the goal of bringing heaven on earth through doing the will of God, and of course the ultimate goal of going to our eternal home to be with our Father. This sounds a lot like Paul, who tells us in Phillipians, to "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (3:14) I am really thankful God brought this message to me. Reminding me that God is with me, fighting on my behalf, and encouraging me to focus on the end goal.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Why Christ Believes In Me
On Maundy Thursday, my Pastor allowed me the priveledge of offering my witness at our service that evening. During Lent, we explored a variety of 'Why I Believe' topics as a series for lent. The following is my witness regarding why I believe that Christ believes in me.
When I thought about why Christ believes in me, the first thought that came to mind is, “there is no reason why Christ should believe in me. I am sinful in nature. At times, I am even a slave to the temptations of the world we live in. I am selfish, unforgiving, and stubborn, (believe it or not!) But what I also am is a creature and creation of God, of the Lord Jesus Christ himself. I am saved through Grace, and grace alone. I am freed from the yokes, the chains, and the sins that bind me. Through the blood of Jesus Christ I am released from sin, and the hold that this world has on me. We are all reflections of God, the tools he uses on earth, the lens through which Christ expresses himself. Because we are His, we mirror him in this world to all others around us. Because we are his, we are love itself, good and pure and righteous at our best by his grace and abounding love. If Christ, and God our Father, didn’t believe in us, there would be no need for Him to go through the, trials, temptations, taunting, suffering, and ultimately crucifixion on the cross – and then to be resurrected for the glory of God. Christ believed, before we were even born, that we are worth saving. We are so precious to him, that we were worthy of the ultimate sacrifice. Christ is also believes in us enough to carry out his commission, that we follow him and make disciples for his Kingdom. When I was 13, I went to a Methodist retreat for young adults called Chrysalis. At the end of the weekend, we received crosses. On the front, the cross read, I am counting on Christ. The back read, And Christ is counting on you.”
When I thought about why Christ believes in me, the first thought that came to mind is, “there is no reason why Christ should believe in me. I am sinful in nature. At times, I am even a slave to the temptations of the world we live in. I am selfish, unforgiving, and stubborn, (believe it or not!) But what I also am is a creature and creation of God, of the Lord Jesus Christ himself. I am saved through Grace, and grace alone. I am freed from the yokes, the chains, and the sins that bind me. Through the blood of Jesus Christ I am released from sin, and the hold that this world has on me. We are all reflections of God, the tools he uses on earth, the lens through which Christ expresses himself. Because we are His, we mirror him in this world to all others around us. Because we are his, we are love itself, good and pure and righteous at our best by his grace and abounding love. If Christ, and God our Father, didn’t believe in us, there would be no need for Him to go through the, trials, temptations, taunting, suffering, and ultimately crucifixion on the cross – and then to be resurrected for the glory of God. Christ believed, before we were even born, that we are worth saving. We are so precious to him, that we were worthy of the ultimate sacrifice. Christ is also believes in us enough to carry out his commission, that we follow him and make disciples for his Kingdom. When I was 13, I went to a Methodist retreat for young adults called Chrysalis. At the end of the weekend, we received crosses. On the front, the cross read, I am counting on Christ. The back read, And Christ is counting on you.”
A New Begining, A New Journey
While talking to some of my closes friends, both followers of Christ and those who have yet to form a true relationship, I found myself reflecting back on my own faith journey. What and why and how do I express my relationship with God and Jesus. The more questions I asked, the deeper I looked, and the more questions I have found. I find myself looking to Christ for answers, guidance, and wisdom, by His Word and through His Holy Spirit. In asking, in developing my prayers, my study, and my witness, I am discovering that not only am I depending on Christ, but I have Christ depending on me. This is my journey.
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